Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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