The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
