i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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