idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
