What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
