u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize