no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
