no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
