The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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