She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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