You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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