I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
His nipple licking is glorious
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