We should be called the Road Head Warriors
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
