??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
