Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
