i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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