if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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