did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
