That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
