did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize