Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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