Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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