careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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