We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
