good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
