yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
