Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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