No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
