I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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