Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
