im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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