I heard we made out
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
whose parrot is this?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
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