I wish I could punch you in the face.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
