we have pet lesbian snakes
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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