Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Michael Bay diarrhea
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
