too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
