I seem to have left my pride at pride
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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