I'm really into asian looking animals
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just googled if crying burns calories
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
