i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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