there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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