barbara walters just said penis...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
