he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
