dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
