It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize