I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
