How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
