1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
