It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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