it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
