# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
