you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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