i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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