please come you make the beer taste better
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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