you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
