Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Damn victory sex feels great
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
