Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
