I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize