I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize