Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
