do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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