I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
