I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
