I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize