So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
