hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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