so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
