Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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