No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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