I'm going to jail i love you
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wish they made helmets for livers.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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