About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
