I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
