He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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