You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
