You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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