Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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