i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
