Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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