I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
